Most of us have suffered a loss of some kind as we’ve moved through life. . .
Have you ever had a love affair go wrong?
Have you ever lost a job that you really enjoyed and at which you were doing well?
Have you ever experienced the death of a loved one?
Have you ever felt deeply disappointed in something?
The pain, feelings,and suffering are the same to varying degrees in any loss. These traumas can manifest in many ways including medical issues, mental and emotional concerns and/or spiritual crises. Now, what do you do with those feelings? In other words, how do you get over it?
The hardest part of recovering from losses like these is figuring out how to overcome the obsession. Obsession is the brain trying to deal with an idea or topic that continually preoccupies or intrudes on a person’s mind. An obsession provokes anxiety and dominates you. It very often is an unreasonable emotion.
Obsessions don’t stop by wishing or willing them away, but there are steps you can take to minimize your recovery time.
1. Take a lot of walks! Walk outside, barefoot if possible. Walk on the treadmill at a slower pace. Become a mall walker if the weather is inclement and you don’t have a health club membership. Walking makes the brain slow down enough for you to feel. You may even begin to cry . . . know that the tears are cleansing as they wash away the grief you experience with loss.
2. Distract your obsession! Read something – mysteries, suspense novels, science fiction – something you can lose yourself in. Going to movies works well also — you can even pretend you are one of the actors!
3. I have found that talking to myself (preferably with no one around) is helpful. My favorite phrase for this exercise is “Stop! I don’t have an answer!” This makes my mind stop, at least momentarily, the unproductive circular route it has been traveling, giving me an opportunity to think of something other than that debilitating obsession.
4. Get wet! Go swimming, jump in the jacuzzi, take a long soaking bubble bath or enjoy a lengthy shower! Why? Water has a calming effect on the body and will lessen the anxiety
Remember, it took some time to develop that obsession and it will take a little time to usher it out of your life also. Be gentle with yourself as you take these steps. Clarity and renewed energy will be your in no time!